This post started a different way until an encounter I had at the suck-fest known as Victoria’s Secret today and the body shame I did to myself.
I loved a note that one of my girlfriends sent me, “the secret is not Victoria’s.” Ha! Without rehashing the whole thing, you can read it for yourself by checking out this Facebook post. I didn’t share it to get a ton of sympathy, but man, I have some incredible friends who really know HOW to treat other women and lift each other up. #grateful. So, today’s topic: The Body Shame Game. Newsfeed Competition. Jealousy. Self-Doubt. Mom-Guilt. Take your pick….because no matter how you slice it, we as women, have all done it, and it all comes back to self-love.
A Little Bit About the Journey I’ve Been On
Personally, this has been a huge struggle for me over the past 3-4 months. I set really high expectations and goals for myself. It’s been like this my whole life. So, after I had Nolan in January 2016, I naturally put a date in my head for when I wanted to start working out, six week’s postpartum when I got the clearance from my OBGYN. Mistake numero uno. I tried working out to 22 Minute Hard Corps, but my body was not ready. I kept going for a week and could tell I was doing more harm than good. All I felt on the inside was failure.
At about the three month postpartum mark, my body felt better. My mind was in a better place and I hooked up with my man ShaunT for some Focus T25. It was just what I needed. I could push myself, but the modifier got me through most days. I could see progress in the first month and had the ability to build my stamina back up, and by month two, I was ready to hit the weights. Finally some confidence!
I went on to do a few other programs over the course of the year. By the end of 2016, I had lost 30 of my 40 baby pounds. But those last 10 pounds!!! Oh my gosh, what do I have to do to lose you?? I know what will work, my old love, Insanity. I had bomb results a couple years ago with Max 30, so I decide, that’s the ticket. And…I lost 5 pounds in 60 days… whant, whant, whant….But here’s the thing, I know what was happening, and I was packing on the muscle, so I wanted to give myself some credit, because, my upper body strength was great, and my pants were fitting better. Two things I’m not gonna complain about. But something was still bothering me.
You know what it was? My stomach. That has always been one of my strongest areas. I know how critical it is have a solid core, so that everything else can be strong too. But, it has been SO hard to get that back. I definitely think I had some ab separation, so I had to take a step back and refocus and modify. Which is really hard for me (mentally). But as spring approached I really started to come down on myself.
Here it Comes…
The body shame game in FULL FORCE. The self-doubt has set in with a vengeance. And why? Because I didn’t have six-pack abs? Honestly? Yea. I’m working my ass off, I’m eating healthy, and I’ll admit that I have definitely given myself grace in the first half of the year to just enjoy more foods than I’d normally say no to. But not enough that I felt like I couldn’t lose my muffin top.
For two months, I kept forging ahead. I kept picking apart every part of my body. Then a couple weeks ago, I just decided, enough! Enough of this BS. Enough of not being grateful that my body grew TWO mini humans! How selfish am I? There are so many women dying to have babies and their bodies just can’t do it. That right there put it all back into perspective. So, here’s what progress looks like for me. From that point at the three month mark (on the right), to about 4-6 months later (middle), to where I’m currently at a year and half after having my sweet Nolan. Progress, not perfect. Not rock hard. And I’ve continued on, daily, and if you’re starting and stopping, just think about what could be accomplished if you didn’t quit! What’s one year really worth to you?
There’s No Shame in Having Curves!
There is absolutely NO reason why any of us should be scrolling our newsfeed and comparing where we’re at today to someone who has been on their journey twice as long. Someone who is more committed to their nutrition. Someone who works from home or never travels and has to worry about where they’re going to eat. Excuses? Sure. Reality? Totally.
And then there’s the photo factor. Mmm hmm…you know what I’m talking about. Those photos you’re looking at on social media, how many pics did that person take to get the one “perfect” photo? Trust me, too many is the correct answer. I play that game, but I will take 3 photos and if whatever I have to share, I have to share. I don’t have perfect lighting, but here’s how different pictures look with just a little lighting and a slightly different angle.
Here’s me just standing in my gym, normal basement lighting. This is the photo I usually post.
Then, with a little bit of sunshine and a different angle, it doesn’t even look like the same body.
So, the moral of the story (thanks for reading it all by the way). It’s time to stop giving a shit about what everyone else thinks and start treating ourselves with the respect WE deserve. If we don’t value our own worth, our bodies and teach our daughter’s, niece’s and any other women in our lives, that the scale doesn’t define us, who will? A crappy sales person at the mall? A photo-shopped picture in a magazine? No thanks. I’m taking back that power. A shopping experience won’t define me. Enough of the body shaming game and more of the Strong is Sexy game!
xo, Tiff